The role of family

The more time one spends with their family, the more they understand their loved ones. I feel so blessed to be born to parents with whom i can discuss my goals and dreams without any hesitation. They may not get things at first but they always lend a ear and listen, respect and consider my opinion in every aspect. They are flexible enough to change their view points based on “What is the right thing to do at the moment?” I know there are many of us whose parents or any family member for that matter are always their by your side. But, believe me not everyone out there is fortunate enough to pour their heart out in front of their parents. Not every girl out their is given the opportunity from the side of their family to pursue her dreams. Even today there are tons and tons of stereotypes related to the profession of the women. Even today the girl is forced to marry to a person whom she didn’t even know properly. There are instances when everything goes smooth but when you look at the dark side of it you will see- marital rape, domestic violence, depression, suicides etc… Can we turn a blind eye to all these happenings? That is where the role of family support comes into play.

The government come up with lots of schemes and policies but that will provide the platform for growth and it will provide a level playing field. The seed of all the consequences begins at home. There are girl students who are forced to do household chores at a very young age but the same family would want their son to spend more time in studies. This sometimes sucks her time out of studies. The foundation remains weak which later becomes hindrance in her career growth. One most common question which most of woman come across is-” When will you get married or have a baby?” If she wants to get married early or late in life and with whom that should be her personal choice. If you are an Indian then let me remind you- Right to marry a person of one’s choice comes under article 21. That is your fundamental right. When she wants to have a baby that’s her personal choice and i really don’t understand why the world or the “so called relatives” are more concerned about the baby. There are many maternal mortality cases out their and the reason for most of them is- early child bearing. If her own parents or her spouse won’t support her during all these phases of her life then whom she would go to?

If you are someone like me whose parents are always there by your side then don’t forget to thank god every day And it’s equally important that we act as a bridge and connect to those who truly needs help. You don’t need an authority to support someone. If you find your friend getting in all these worldly trap then you can simply have conversation with her and also talk to her family members if required. Who says education begins at school? If you find a lady who wants to learn to read and write but could not go to school then you can spare some time out to teach her as well through calls, through videos etc.. The past is gone. I know many of our parents could not receive good education in their early childhood, they were also married early to their age but that cannot be changed. Pondering over the problems won’t give a solution. We are lucky enough to be part of this century where lot of opportunities are available out there for each one of us. The only thing that will help you to recognise these opportunities is your “own desire to grow and your curiosity to tap into the unknown”. And believe me when you want something badly enough then nothing on this earth can stop you. All the boulders would seem like small pebbles.

The lessons worth sharing

You might have read so many books, watched many movies which teach lessons on life but the real lessons are always learnt from your experiences only. It’s a natural human tendency that humans generally don’t take advice from someone else but if we ourselves go through the same situation then only we understand the value of the advice that someone once gave us because that person wanted us to learn from their mistakes. In this post i would love to share some lessons which i feel are worth sharing with my readers:

  • People listen what they want to hear: whenever you are having conversation with anybody at any point of time always keep in mind it’s not at all necessary that what you are talking is being understood by the person you are having conversation with. Very few people actually care about what’s happening in your life. Most of the people only listen to things which makes them happy or are doing them some sort of benefit. The only solution to handle this is never expect the other person to understand things from your end otherwise you will surely be disappointed. You just share whatever you want to so that the things don’t keep on troubling you again and again. And on a personal note i would rather suggest you to write every thought on the paper and later throw it, tear it or burn it. This truly works. If you are a blogger or a writer you are really at advantage. You can express your emotions by writing poems. Believe me writing is the best therapy to make you calm and later you can get back to the most important tasks.

  • Your parents are your true well wishers: we all have friends. They all are good but at one or the other point of time in life even the friend whom you are very close to may act selfish. But, your parents will always be there for you whenever you would call them. This is selfless love. Never forget to spend a quality time with your parents.

  • Keep your interests first: always remember you can’t please everyone on this earth. For example, if the world would have not adopted the new technology methods thinking it will not be accepted by people who follow traditional methods then we won’t come across the fourth industrial revolution. Similarly in life too do what’s right for you without worrying what the world think. At least “your happiness is totally under your control”.

  • Never take any action when you are angry, sad or too excited: whenever your mind is feeling extreme levels of joy or sadness or your anger is at the top then please do yourself a favor. Never ever go and react immediately. Take some deep breaths , relax, bring yourself back to normalcy then act. If you really want to avoid regrets in your life then you must always keep this point in mind.

  • Believe in yourself till your last breath: wherever you are, whatever may be the situation you cannot come out of it unless and until you believe in yourself. Your parents, friends, spouse, etc..can only encourage you or can provide you with the external motivation but at the end it’s only you who has to take action. You cannot succeed at anything in life unless and until you have a firm faith in your abilities. Believe me you are so much more powerful than any circumstances of your life. Even if you are alone on the path the divinity will be there to guide you only when you believe in yourself.

  • Cherish every moment: all of us have very few days left in our lives. Always remember to shed your love in the lives of people who truly cares for you. Don’t forget to thank those who are always there for you. Be happy and spread the happiness in your ambiance.

YOU ARE ALIVE FOR A PURPOSE

In today’s world of social media platforms and surrounded by number of smart phone devices we spend very less time with ourselves. We are either waiting for the notifications to pop up on our mobile phones or waiting for the comments. We know what interests our friends and family members. We know the aspirations of the people in our contact but very few of us can answer to the question: “What is my purpose or passion?” The reason is “we never question ourselves”. We waste time in overthinking, worrying, thinking about the past or worrying about the future but we never do the right questioning.

You know when you fall in love with someone you have a natural tendency to be curious about the other person. This curiosity helps you to know more and more about each other and as a result the bonding of the love grows stronger. Similarly, learn to spend more time with yourself. Write your thoughts down, start writing journal where you can keep records of your goals and hobbies and track your growth. Being alone with your thoughts gives your brain a chance to wander, which can help you become more creative. Believe me you will start discovering the hidden potential in you if you spend at least 20-30 minutes a day in solitude. Spending time alone can give you a chance to ensure there’s a purpose to all of your hustling and bustling. Quiet space provides an opportunity to think about your goals, your progress, and changes you want to make in your life. You will embrace every bit in you. Solitude is the need of the hour in today’s world of competition and social media. When you’re by yourself, you can make choices without outside influences. And that will help you develop more insight into who you are as a person.

If you are still breathing today then you are definitely alive for a purpose. There’s lot of power in your thoughts and what you think becomes your reality.So, what are you waiting for. Start discovering yourself.There will be times when “things just seem worthless” but during those times you remember my words:

“Life is a game, it’s an adventure…you are here to live this game and not to leave the game”

An agitated mind is a devil’s workshop

The human brain is an immensely powerful organ

It provides you with the courage to face your fears

And can also compel you to choose the “flight” response and RUN

None of the battles in the battlefield are won without winning over your “MONKEY MIND”

Responding and reacting when angry is more easier than listening patiently and remain kind

But what most of us forget??

We forget that the mind is an organ in “OUR BODY”

It is like a tool and we should not allow it to rule

If you think you are a slave to your mind then you are definitely making yourself a fool

Whether it’s about catching the flight or train in the last minute….

Whether it’s about beating the exam stress….

Whether it is combating the stage fear….

You cannot succeed at any of them until and unless you make your mind clear

Always remember the water when still seems so calm

But the same water when filled with waves and tides can cause mass destruction too…

Let’s change our lens a bit

No one is perfect. We all know this but very few of us are ready to accept the people the way they are. The most foolish thing someone can do is judge someone’s character when they are angry, sad, going through a rough phase or may be some emotional issues. Tell me how many of you would say no when someone has invited you for their birthday party or marriage or any happy occasion? Very few of you. The reason is we all want to be the part of someone’s success and happiness. But let me remind you the person who is happy can remain happy without you accompanying him/her. The person needs a helping hand or just a ear to listen to them in a non judgmental way when they are going through their tough phase. That phase can be of any sort. We all are humans and humans can survive on their own. That comes naturally to us. But lets not forget that what makes us different from the robots are “our emotions”. Well…nowadays if you laugh and always keep smiling in front of someone then they appreciate but that is also an emotion right. Then why expressing sorrows or shedding tears are not given equal respect? After all a person is just being expressive about their emotions. Do you think being expressive is wrong? Every time things cannot be HUNKY DORY. Sharing the stories of success and fame is appreciated but when someone is sharing the experience of their phase of depression or any trauma then that is considered as the sign of weakness in our society. People who influence others by being fake become the part of the huge friend circle but the one who is transparent and honest about their feelings have few friends. I know judging comes naturally to humans because are brains are wired that way to make right decisions in life but “there’s a lot of difference in judging some situation or obstacle and judging someone’s character“. We never realize this difference and apply the same principles in forming perceptions about people. You know from our childhood days our teachers always told us “If you point one finger at someone then the rest of the fingers are pointing at you”. This is something worth remembering.
Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness. While it’s healthy social skill to be able to behave professionally even when you are not feeling at the top of your game, letting your guard down at socially appropriate times isn’t a sign of weakness. In fact, being aware of your emotions and making a conscious choice to share those emotions with others is actually a sign of strength. Always remember if someone opens a chapter of their life on your desk then realize “how much you mean to them”. Nowadays you may get lots of friends who would love to hang out with you but it’s not easy to find a companion. So, embrace the imperfections in everyone. We all are independent but even the ecosystem cannot sustain itself without the “inter dependency”. Just because someone wants to be with you doesn’t mean that person is dependent or attached to you. There are times when your loved one truly needs you.
Just like a pot of boiling water- trying to keep the lid on- all that hot bubbling water will cause the lid to rattle. Our emotions are no different. There’s nothing wrong in being authentic about your feelings.
It’s time to uncover what is weighing you down. Emotions are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of courage and transparency. The books written by the author are appreciated more when the reader can feel the emotions. The movies would have never appreciated if emotions wouldn’t have been part of them.So, let’s change our lens to see emotions.

Now, it’s only you

When my feet trembled and my heart was scared

When I was on the road full of pebbles and thorns

You, became my strength

You gave me the courage to face all the ups and downs

You held my hand to help me get up again when I fell down

Many times I feel there’s no one around except the solitude..

Then I hear your voice “I am there”

You are the first thought in my mind the moment I wake up

You are part of me now

You keep me alive

Now, I don’t care about anything else on the earth

Only I know how much you mean to me

The only thing that matters to me now is “You” – my goals, ambitions and my dreams

Some important life lessons

Life is very interesting journey but what makes it more meaningful are the decisions and choices we make. In this post i would like to share some important life lessons which will help you for sure at each and every stage of your life.

  1. One thing at a time: if you think you can multitask then you are dwelling in the biggest illusion. you must remind yourself again and again that multitasking is the biggest myth. You must practice focus. Focus and concentration come through practice. The way you exercise your body muscles by going to the gym, similarly, you must train your brain too if you really want to achieve your goals. to do this you must learn to prioritize things well. This won’t happen in your head. You must write things down on the piece of paper then act on that basis.
  2. Keep yourself calm: your brain functions at its best when it is totally at peace. Only you can ensure how to keep your mind calm in every situation. Never make important decisions when you are too excited, stressed or angry. Go for a walk, take some deep breath, listen to music etc.. I would suggest to write all your troubling thoughts on the paper.
  3. Attitude matters: people will watch innumerable motivational videos, read number of self help books but still cannot change their negative attitude. Tell me if worrying would have solved all the problems then everyone on this earth would begin their day shedding tears or yelling at someone. “Worry” is your biggest enemy and the worst energy sucker. Worrying about things only stop you from enjoying the “present moments”. Lets learn from the plants. The plants in the deserts don’t worry thinking about the harsh climate outside. These plants develop mechanisms that help them to deal with the harsh conditions like modification in their leaves, developing a thin film of waxy layer to prevent water loss etc.. We all know that our thoughts are totally our choice then better to choose thoughts that make you happy. Be happy… be optimistic… life is too short to be sad.
  4. Focus on your growth: don’t waste your precious time and energy behind people who take you for granted. Never cling on to anything. If someone wants to walk away from your life then let them happily go. If someone give rise to negativity then eliminate them totally from your life and thoughts. These people can only add toxicity in your life, beware. You have certain goals which demand a hell lot of energy. Always keep yourself at the top of your priority list. You are not on this earth to please everyone but at least you have total control on how to please yourself.
  5. Value those who truly cares for you: there are some people in your life who love you unconditionally. Never bring tears to their eyes because sometimes you never know they make you their first priority keeping everything aside. Never miss a chance to make them feel special. They can be your parents, your friends, your spouse..etc..
  6. Be kind: in the hustle and bustle of our lives we are forgetting how to be kindhearted. We yell unnecessary on people who never did anything wrong. Always remember each and everyone on this earth is going through one or the other struggles of their life. The only difference is some keep things to themselves and some like to share. So, whenever you come across anyone then please be kind to them because words have the power to heal the ailments which medicines cant.

Just me, myself and I

The hustle and bustle is making my mind restless

Some mistakes I did in the past are offering my life a tough test

The heart which aspires to fly high

Is little timid and muddled at the moment

Waiting for the moment when it can be free from all the fears

At that point of time I did what I felt was right

Few decisions were impulsive

And the reason was may be I wanted to escape from the troubles I was facing then

But I didn’t know that things would unfold this way

All I can tell myself is: One day it’s all gonna make sense

There may be things which make me feel uncomfortable and anxious at the moment

But all these events are teaching me some great life lessons

At this moment all I can have is “faith” and “hope

But I wish to go to a place where it’s just me and the solitude

Where I can find answers to so many questions which run in my head everyday

The questions of my purpose…

The questions of my passion…

The questions of my dream…

The questions of my happiness…

The questions of my existence…

The scenario of menstruation in India

Being from the country which is known for it’s culture

It’s unfortunate to say that there still exists certain myths and taboos that brings to the emotional torture

The female deity is embellished with garlands in the temples

But the female on her periods is not allowed to worship in the same temple

The person who is involved in the corruption

Or the theif escaped from the prison can perform the holy rituals without any restriction

Then what fault has the girl has done who is going through a normal biological process which is very much required for the survival of the human generation?

God never says “Don’t pray”

It’s we.. The society…who has made these false notions

I understand it’s difficult to explain your grandparents who are too stubborn regarding certain beliefs

But what about the youth?

What about us who believe in adopting modern technology but still caught in the taboos being the younger generation?

Gather the courage… My gals

So.. The next time you go to the medical shop for buying the sanitary pads.. Better leave behind all your hesitation

Things don’t change unless and until we begin to think with our minds open to change…We are ready to change our outlook, our sense of dressing but it all begins with “your mind”. Nothing helps if your mind is still residing on the things that takes away your freedom to see the bigger picture of certain issues. I’m very fortunate to born in a family where my parents are very flexible to accept the changes and they don’t believe on such taboos. But, I have heard and observed people who feel very shy to talk about menstruation in India. The first thing you hear from them is ” Shhhh!!” Well… I wrote this poem to express my views freely as a writer. Would love to hear your views too in the comments. 😊